I used to think that I will be happy when I have: a house, a husband, children, a car, a million dollars. There was always some external thing that I was chasing that I thought would cure my unhappiness. I chased the job that I thought would bring me enough money to make me happy. I searched for the man that I thought would complete the picture in my mind. But, even when I achieved the goal, I didn’t find myself to be happy for more than a month. Happiness was fleeting and the thing or person didn’t fulfill me the way I expected. One day, I wasn’t experiencing the blessing that I already had because I was always waiting for the moment when I would have something better.
I would never be happy because I wasn’t allowing myself to appreciate what I had achieved. In always chasing something better, I was being ungrateful and disrespectful to myself. By not being happy, I was keeping myself in a perpetual cycle of unrest. There was always something I had to work towards and always someone to prove myself to. I never felt worthy of the moment. I was always preparing myself for the happiness I would receive in the future. Huge mistake. There is nothing wrong with having goals, but every moment offers gifts, lessons and opportunity to celebrate. You can’t give your full attention to what you have if you are always beating yourself up for what you don’t have. Everyone should aspire to continue in their life to do bigger and better things. The difference is that you can’t base your happiness on it.
If you are constantly wishing for something more, than you are telling yourself that what you have at the moment is not good enough. If people in your life aren’t doing what you want them to do, you might tell yourself that you can’t be happy until they follow your instructions. You can expend a great deal of energy trying to control your outer experience, so you can feel happy. Life is too short to wait for everyone and everything to fall into place. Happiness does not equal perfection. Happiness is being grateful for what you have and seeing the blessings within the imperfection in your life.
“The reason people find it hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved that it will be” -Marcel Pagnol
You have the power to happy now. Happiness is a choice. You choose it each minute of every day. It doesn’t mean that there won’t be times where you will experience sadness, hurt or other emotions. It’s normal and you should process every emotion when it’s appropriate for the situation. I wouldn’t expect you to choose happiness after a breakup or following the death of a beloved family member. It would inappropriate and fake for the situation. But, in daily life, you can choose happiness. If you are in a battle of wills with someone or something, you can choose to be right or you can choose to be happy.
In a moment when you are feeling frustrated, decide to let it go and choose happiness. If you find it difficult, make a list of all the reasons you have to be grateful and love your life. Challenge your view of life. Love your life now.