How to Create Healthy Patterns in Your Life

I have to admit that I am in my pattern.I believe that we all have patterns of behavior. Some patterns are healthy while others are unhealthy. When you are in your pattern, you are unconsciously creating something in your life. My pattern is that I try something, succeed at it and then I stop. I’ve done is with weight loss in the past. After I lose five pounds, I will tell myself that I can eat anything I want. I am very aware of my pattern, but it still wreaks havoc in my life at times.

I haven’t written for two days, because I fell into my pattern. I understand now that my pattern is really fear. After I was published, I felt this fear that I wouldn’t know what to write. Of course, I know that the fear is irrational. So, I made a decision that I couldn’t allow my pattern to run my life. There are steps to get out of your pattern:

1. Identify the pattern: There is a pattern at play in your life. It requires awareness to find the thing that you have done over and over again.Friends or family members may point out your patterns to you. Patterns are most glaring in our relationships. For example, people often date the same person over and over without realizing it.

2. Figure out why you are in the pattern: You have to take some time to really understand the pattern. It’s generally fear, but you have to figure out what you are afraid of and why?  There is something that you are trying to work out with this pattern. For me, writing makes me feel vulnerable. When I go into my pattern, I am protecting my vulnerability and allowing insecurity to trick me into thinking that I will be hurt.

3. Break your pattern: Once you are aware of your pattern, you are empowered to break it. The easiest way to break it is to not allow yourself to fall into the tailspin. I have decided to schedule my writing and commit to the schedule rather than writing when I feel like it. If I commit to the schedule, then I won’t have time to worry about the vulnerability.

4. Create a new pattern: For every unhealthy pattern, you can replace it with a healthy pattern but it requires commitment. It takes, at least, 28 days to create a new habit. If you can commit to the new pattern, you will begin to subconsciously replace the old pattern with the new pattern.

The important thing is that once you figure out your pattern, you make a change and you commit to it. No one is perfect. If you skip a day, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. The next day is another opportunity to start your new pattern again. This post is my re-commitment to my new pattern. I’ve forgiven myself for taking two days off and I am back to writing. It’s that easy.

“Good habits, once established are just as hard to break as are bad habits” – Robert Puller

Can you identify the patterns in your life? Where have you made the same mistake over and over? Can you commit 28 days to creating a new habit? Share your thoughts in comments.