Why We Choose Not to Be the Hero in Our Own Lives

“I say the universe speaks to us, always, first in whispers. And a whisper in your life usually feels like ‘hmm, that’s odd.’ Or, ‘hmm, that doesn’t make any sense.’ Or, ‘hmm, is that right?’ It’s that subtle. And if you don’t pay attention to the whisper, it gets louder and louder and louder. I say it’s like getting thumped upside the head. If you don’t pay attention to that, it’s like getting a brick upside your head. You don’t pay attention to that—the brick wall falls down. That is the pattern that I see in my life and so many other people’s lives. And so, I ask people, ‘What are the whispers? What’s whispering to you now?'” — Oprah

Life always gives us a warning before it falls apart. The problem is that we usually ignore it. There are small signs at first. There’s that voice within us that tells us to do the opposite of the thing we want to do. Sometimes, the reason we stay too long is because we are comfortable. We think about the energy it will take to find a new job, move or find someone else to love and it feels like it is easier to stay where you are.

But, every choice we ignore is eventually made for us whether we want it or not. You are given a choice to make a decision while you are comfortable. If you pass it up, the choice will be made for you and it won’t be in a way that makes you comfortable. Tony Robbins says, “In life, you need either inspiration or desperation.”  Sometimes, we let things go until we find ourselves in desperation. I’ve been guilty of doing the same thing. I’ve ignored the signs until it feels like my life is falling apart.

Maybe, it is easier to consider yourself a victim, but sometimes it is the choices that we ignore that become the disasters in our life. If you leave it until you don’t have a choice, then you don’t have to take responsibility for the outcome.  Or we think that doing the thing that we don’t want to do isn’t fun. We choose to live now and pay later. The problem is that the cost adds up over time and you pay a lot more than you thought you would ever have to pay. There are signs that we overlook or minimize instead of taking action immediately then we tell ourselves that the result came out of nowhere. We override our own feelings to keep the comfort of our world. Then something happens that rocks our world and forces us to deal with the very thing we have tried to ignore. We lose the job. The person walks away from our relationship or finds someone else. We find ourselves in the hospital with a scary diagnosis.

Are there things in your life that you are ignoring to keep the illusion that everything is perfect? What is going unsaid in your life? What would happen if you found the courage to say the thing that needs to be said? You may find that you have an opportunity to save the thing that you are ignoring. You may have a chance to make a different decision. Maybe, you will find that you are not as comfortable as you think you are. The choice is going to be made whether you make it or not. What can you fix before it is broken? Can you be inspired to be proactive or will you wait until you have to take action out of desperation? We have the power to be our own hero. You’ll either save yourself before the disaster or save yourself from the disaster.