The title of this blog comes from a Supreme’s song, “Reflections.” I chose it because I’m old. Just kidding.  I celebrated my 35th year on this earth this past weekend and I spent the time reflecting on the past year and much of my life. A birthday can’t help but be a reminder of life. The past year has taught me some very hard lessons and I’ve tried to share them with you, but I know that as long as I have life that I am meant to keep learning.

I think that each year is a series of lessons and tests that bring us that much closer to our destiny. I thought I would share a little bit of the wisdom I have gained in the past year:

• You have a purpose. It’s not what everyone has told you should be, it might not be your job and it may not even be your degree. It’s something that you’ve had all your life. Think back to when you were a kid. What was something you would do for hours? What would you do if no one paid you? Figure out how you can use that to help others and you have your purpose.

• It’s important to figure out who is supporting you and who is killing your momentum. If you are surrounded by people that support your downfall, it is going to be that much harder to get ahead in life. Find cheerleaders, not bottom feeders.

• If someone doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, they don’t deserve your time. You set the rules as to how you should be treated. How do you know who should remain and who should go? You set an expectation. Keep those that care enough to meet it.

• Fixing anything starts with acceptance. As long as you convince yourself that it is out of your control, you can’t ever fix it. When you accept your role in your situation, you take control of it. Accept it whatever it is.

• Seek guidance from people who have what you want. Someone that hasn’t achieved it is only guessing while someone who is successful understands what it takes.

• Life is meant to be enjoyed. You have to find the balance. Punishing yourself is not going to help you get better. Regret, shame and guilt don’t serve you. Once you’ve apologized, even if it is not accepted, you can’t keep beating yourself up because it’s no longer doing anyone any good. Enjoy your life because EVERYONE makes mistakes. No one is perfect.

• Whatever lesson you avoid learning doesn’t go away, it just comes back wearing a different outfit. This means that you’ll keep experiencing the same thing over and over until you learn from it.

• If you say you want to change, you will face the temptation to go back to your past behavior. Know it is coming and be prepared for it. For example, if you decide you’re not going to eat sweets, you could visit someone’s house and they are pushing cake in your face.

• Don’t let a past hurt stop you from loving. Love is your teacher. It may be scary and it may feel like you failed in the past, but you didn’t. Each relationship brings you closer to understanding exactly what you want and need. When you are ready, your forever will walk into your life. If you stop loving, you are prolonging the journey.

• Finally, everything has a solution and things will get better. You have to believe in yourself. Keep working through it and you will see the light. You have to want to know before you can grow. As long as you close your mind, you can’t see the path. It’s all designed for your growth.

One theme that played throughout the last few years in my life was holding on to things too long. I was so focused on comfort that I think I often held too tight and too long to people and things that no longer served me, even pain. Now, I realize that we can stifle our own growth and the growth of others when we try to stay where we are no longer learning and growing. Sometimes, we have to move on, not because we want to, but because it is time. Life has a funny way of making it happen whether you want to or not. It’s easier to go when you feel it is time than to go when you are forced to because you’ve lost so much.

The greatest lesson I learned is that life is as hard as you make it. I’ve spent the first 35 years of my life making life very hard for myself because I thought that was how it had to be. I thought everything required some type of struggle. No pain, no gain. Wrong! I’m starting to learn that life is only as difficult as I believe it to be. So, I’ve decided to believe that it doesn’t have to be difficult. There is a flow to life. If you fight against it and hold on too long, it will be harder. But, if you swim with the stream and let it guide you where you need to go, it’s much easier and even enjoyable. I hope the wisdom I shared with you will allow you to float with the stream of life a bit more.

“What’s difficult in life is to stay centered when somebody does or says something that tempts us to close our hearts because their heart was closed. That is hard. But that is also how we grow. We go through those circumstances in order to evolve into people who can hold to our loving center no matter what the world throws us.”- Marianne Williamson

In an effort to lovingly care for myself  and to devote my attention to finishing some other writing projects, I will be publishing the blog on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I will try to share a video or some other information on Tuesday.

Thank you for continuing to read. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.