“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.”- Iyanla Vanzant
It’s the last month of 2013. You have a choice of whether you want to carry those same burdens and pain into the next year. It takes 28 days to form a new habit. I invite you to figure out if you are ready for a change. Do you want 2014 to be different?
I have to admit that this past year for me was difficult. I went through a lot of changes and I faced a lot of my own pain. I had to really look at myself, show up and, sometimes, I met myself for the first time. But, I can say that over the course of this difficult year, I worked through the pain and discovered that I am my own best friend. I used to feel like I was alone in the world. Now, I don’t feel alone anymore because I know I have me.
I never would’ve got to that if I didn’t peel back the layers and look at all those things that I was running from. We give ourselves excuses and we abuse weapons of mass distraction when the truth is that we are just afraid to look at those things that bring us pain. The truth is the big, bad, monster is never as big as we think it is. A lot of the pain we are afraid of is from when we were a small child and we don’t realize that we’ve grown up. We are now an adult who is capable of protecting ourselves and not a helpless little person anymore. When you look at that pain, you will see that you are capable. You can face it. You can feel it and survive.
So, now, you have a choice to make. Do you want the next year to be more of the same? If not, it’s time to make some changes. The first place to start is with your attitude. Let go of the attitude that says you are justified in your attitudes, reactions and actions.
Adopt the curious mind that asks why you do what you. Look at yourself under a microscope and figure out why you react the way you do. Ask yourself questions. It’s time to get to know yourself intimately.
It’s the beginning of change. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Just start.
I think you will find there is a lot to learn.
“When you can look a thing dead in the eye, acknowledge that it exists, call it exactly what it is, and decide what role it will take in your life then, my Beloved, you have taken the first step toward your freedom.” ― Iyanla Vanzant