“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” ― Mandy Hale

I’ve been in conversations about dating recently and I noticed that many people are expressing dissatisfaction with the dating scene. Most notably, I’ve noticed a lot of great, beautiful women who would prefer to stay home on the weekend than to go on one more bad date. I can understand the frustration, but I heard over and over that the woman was going to stop dating because she wanted a “real relationship.”

I’m definitely all for doing some introspective work to figure out if the challenge in meeting the right person is something that you need to fix within yourself. However, I don’t believe that you can find the proper mate by not dating. I have yet to meet a woman whose husband walked up to her house and rang the doorbell. You have to be out and available to meet someone and you also have to have a good attitude about it.

As I thought more about it, I thought about the difference between men and women. Men date until they find the woman they are looking for. They date multiple women at a time and enjoy their individual company until they come across the woman they want to settle down with. I think the mistake, women, make is in putting too much pressure on every potential date to turn into a relationship. Some are just fun. Why not just enjoy yourself instead of trying to figure out if every guy is THE ONE?

I’m going to use shoes as a metaphor of how women sometimes approach dating, because we understand shoes.

You’re out and  you see a really cute shoe in the window and you think it will go with an outfit. So, you stop in the store and ask to try it on. They have your size. It’s the perfect price and you’re excited as the salesperson places it in front of you. You slide each foot into those beautiful shoes, but they don’t meet your expectations.  They just don’t feel right. They pinch your pinky toe and rub on your heel.

How do you react? Do you throw your hands up and ask,” why has God forsaken me that this shoe that I need doesn’t fit? What is wrong with my foot that this shoe is not comfortable? Will I ever find a shoe that meets my needs?”

I doubt it. You most likely figure they are just not the shoes for you. They might be great for someone else. You walk out the store and assume that you’ll find the perfect shoes somewhere else.

As women, we will spend hours searching and trying on shoes to perfectly match our outfits . But when it comes to men, we try to turn the first man we meet into the perfect match. You gotta try them on. Go to different stores. Some are just party shoes. Some are church shoes and others are work shoes. Then one day, you find the one that goes with everything and you fall in love.

If you approach dating as a selection process instead of trying to hammer each man you meet into the mold of THE ONE, you may find that you are able to enjoy dating and you might meet some really great people along the way. Lower your expectations of forever and just enjoy the night. It’s usually when you stop looking that what you want shows up.

“Not everything in life has to be about finding “The One.” Sometimes a girl just wants to have fun.” ― Mandy Hale

If you like this advice, please share with anyone you think could benefit from reading it.

Let me know what you think in comments.