Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

People have the power that you give them in your life. When you love someone, you give them more power in your life. They have the ability to hurt you because you have given them power. But, you have the right to take that power away. If someone abuses the power you gave them, you have the right to take that power away. You are not required to suffer for love. You are not required to be inferior in order to earn or keep someone’s love. If the person truly loves you, they shouldn’t want you to be inferior or to suffer.

I spent this past weekend learning a lot about love and grace. I was on Youtube and I came across a video of a sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes. He was talking about the type of people that arrive in your life and how you should treat them. Unfortunately, the video cut off after the description of the 3rd type of person, but I got enough to get the message. He talked about how there are very few people in your life that are for you. There are very few people that will want nothing from you and are there merely for the love of you. He said that the easiest way to tell if someone is for you is to tell them your happy news and watch their face. If they don’t celebrate with you, then they are not for you. The people that truly love you will be happy for you.

The video got me to thinking. I have found that the easiest way to tell who is with you is to change. People that truly love you won’t be scared by your change. People that truly love you will change with you. People that are using you want you stay right where you are. A bed bug doesn’t want you to get up and walk around. They want you to stay asleep so they keep sucking your blood and filling their bellies. People that are using you are like that bed bug. They don’t want you to change, because when you cut off their supply it will require them to change. People that truly love you, and don’t want anything from you, will not only celebrate your change but they will invite you to change. They will inspire you to change.

There is positive power and negative power. Negative power is addictive because it validates all of the lies that you tell yourself and it requires nothing of you. If you succumb to the negative power, there is nothing required of you. You can rest in your misery and you don’t have to push yourself. Negative power will attract plenty of friends that will keep you steeped in that negativity. Negative power comes easily to you, but you have to seek out Positive power. You have to surround yourself with people that are positive and that want positive things for you. But those people are going to ask and expect great things of you. Those people are going to push and pull you upwards. Those people are going to challenge you to rise up and be who you are meant to be in this world. You are going to be asked to examine all those lies that you tell yourself and figure out if they are really true. Positive power is not going to accept your delusions. In order to ascend to the next level, you have to drop the anchors that your delusions have fastened to you. Positive power wants you to ascend to the next level, so it will help you to see your true self.

You have a right to choose the people that you surround yourself with. You have a right to decide how much power you give them. You have a right to decide if you want negativity or positivity around you. You can look at each person and determine whether they are for you and lifting you up or if they are using you and holding you back. Bishop T.D. Jakes says that if you realize that someone is not for you, if they are not excited for you, don’t tell them your dreams. They will use those dreams against you. I say save your dreams for the people that will help you reach them. Save your dreams for the people that know that your dream doesn’t take anything away from them or their own dreams. The power is yours. Choose wisely.