I’m frustrated. I have been trying to update my page, but everything is taking longer and more work than I expected. I am used to doing everything myself and I find myself having to search for answers or people who can help me. I’ve moved the page to a host, but I’m not sure if my followers are still receiving notifications of my post. If you are not, I apologize but this post is about more than that.
I am also in the process of moving so I have to pack, shut off utilities and all the things that come with moving. Moving is a stressful process in and of itself. Then, if you add in the money that it takes, it can reduce you to tears. I still don’t know why I decided to move my page in the same week that I am physically moving. It must have been temporary insanity or sheer underestimation on my part. I’m also trying to monitor my diet so that I can lose weight. Radically changing your diet while moving and migrating your blog equals disaster as far as emotions are concerned.
Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.- Camille Pissarro
I will admit that I have been a bit short at times. In the past, I would beat myself up with guilt for being angry and frustrated. I also would’ve thrown the diet out the window and focused an insane amount of time on resolving the issue with the blog. I would’ve pulled my hair out over moving and I would’ve spent an anxiety-ridden day cursing all my choices and running a negative tape in my head blaming myself for everything that went wrong. I didn’t do that this time.
As things started to fall apart, I became more aware of my body. I moved into my body and felt the stress building up in my chest and spreading to my limbs. I felt my body tense up. I felt it and then I stopped what I was doing until my body relaxed. I breathed. I listened to my thoughts. I identified those negative thoughts, I listened to them and then I decided that there had to be a way to resolve all the problems. I am slowly working through them. I have faith that everything will be okay and work out. I have to do these things so I have to believe that they will work out. As far as I my diet, I railed off course for one day, but I am back to consciousness and aware of what choices I am making about what I put in my body. I didn’t punish myself for the one day. I treated myself as I would a friend and just told myself to do better tomorrow.
If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.- Frank A. Clark
This period is a test. I do believe that whenever you decide that you are going to make a change that you will face challenges and opportunities to fall right back into your old habits. I have to say that it feels better not to freak out. I feel stronger. I am not yet at the point where I can experience what I am going through without any reaction. I don’t have that kind of serenity yet, but I am working on it. Being positive is not about the absence of issues and problems in your life. It is about a shift in how you perceive them. Perception is the difference between feeling powerful and powerless. I’m no longer blaming myself for obstacles. I am seeing them as what they are, a part of life. You can change your perception. You can see every obstacle as a test. Will you pass it or will you crumble? When you feel yourself dissolve into old behavior, remind yourself that you deserve happiness and you can handle anything that comes your way.
What are you facing now? Can you feel your feelings? Can you breathe and release the tension limb-by-limb?