What is at your Core?

I used to think that change was about being something different from what I am. I’m learning that change is about remembering that I am already everything that I am meant to be. I am a fan of the show, “Friends.” There is an episode where the characters are arguing and Joey puts on all of Chandler’s clothes.


I think that as we grow and learn that we take on other people’s fears in the form of lessons. An example would be the fear is that you won’t be happy as a woman if you are not married or don’t have children. There is a fear that if you don’t accomplish these things that your life is unfulfilled. If you visualize their fears as clothing, eventually you will end up in a spiritual “outfit” like above. Clothes are supposed to act as protection, so symbolically, these lessons are supposed to protect you. Healthy fear is a true gift. Sometimes, trusting it can protect you from real dangers, such as not walking down a dark alley when you feel uncertain. However, some of the fear is preventing you from living and from connecting to other people. When you live in other people’s neurosis and failures, you can be as weighed down and rejected as if you were wearing their entire wardrobe like the picture above.

How do you get back to the core of who you are? You peel it off one layer at a time. You have to sort through the beliefs that you have been given and decide what rings true with you. In the movie, “Runaway Bride”, the character, Maggie claimed to enjoy her eggs cooked the same way as whatever partner she was with. When she is challenged to find herself, she cooks the eggs every single way possible. She sits down and tastes each form of eggs. She gets in touch with her taste buds and feels within her body until she comes to the conclusion that she loves eggs Benedict. Figuring out your beliefs and deciphering your negative thoughts is similar to this process. You have to develop awareness of your beliefs and thoughts. You have to roll them around in your mind and figure out how they feel in your body. If they don’t feel good, you can reject them and choose a belief that feels good in your body. When you consult your core self rather than to operate from the dogma and thoughts that you’ve been handed, you will operate more in life from your authentic soul. It doesn’t mean that you have to come up with everything on your own. Read, seek and find what makes sense to you.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”- George Bernard Shaw

Sometimes, when you are given the freedom to question and review, you may find that much of what you know are in agreement with your core beliefs. You may find that you only have to throw out a few pieces of information that don’t quite fit. Or, like me, you may find that you already know it, but you rejected it because it didn’t agree with what you were told you should believe. Whatever you decide to do, you have the power to change. The first step is awareness. Once you are aware, you will see the world as it is instead of how people want you to see it. Your thoughts create your world, so it might be time to clean out your closet and remove some of that extra protection.

What are the things that you know you love vs. what you think you should love? What can you do for yourself today? Are you following your dreams?