Why Things Falling Apart is a Good Thing

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”– Eckhart Tolle

Change begins in the mind. My life has been a series of changes over the past two years. Many of them felt negative as I was going through them. Many of them involved major loss, but I now understand why. I was a slave to so many things in my life that didn’t make me happy. I was giving my heart and soul to people, places and things that didn’t love me or even appreciate my efforts. As things fell apart, I considered it my failure. I took the guilt, the pain and the understanding that I wasn’t worthy of what I had fought for all that time. Now, as I look back, I realize that those people, places and things were not worthy of me. My life coach said something that woke me up. We were talking about jobs and she said, “You don’t have to be a whore to a job or anyone.” Her words shocked me into understanding that I was whoring myself and it was why I felt depleted and used. I was giving way to much of myself and my resources when I wasn’t gaining as much in return.  Things fell apart not as a punishment, but it was to free me so I could follow my path. It doesn’t make the people, places, or things bad. They just weren’t right for me. I got stuck and tried to stay where I was only meant to be for a short time. I was blocking my blessings.

Now, I find myself in a much more loving and supportive place. I have an opportunity to do some things that I have put off while I was chasing all the wrong things. I am learning how to be in a state of allowing. What I’ve learned is that there is a flow to our life that we are supposed to let things happen because there is a design to our path. It doesn’t mean that you sit on your couch and do nothing. It means that when things start to fall apart or come together, I don’t attach a story to it that says that it’s somehow a punishment. The Universe is always working towards our happiness. Our job is to be a co-creator in that happiness by supplying the Universe with thoughts and beliefs that create the life that would make us happy. I have a belief that everything will work out because I am following the flow. I’m not questioning my decisions as things come to me.

But, I have learned that the Universe is literal. It doesn’t interpret your true meaning. I have to be aware of the negative thoughts that are floating in my mind.

I will share my most prevalent negative thoughts that float through my mind and stain my life:

  • I’m not good enough.
  • Everything has to be difficult for me.
  • I’ll never have enough ____ to do what I want.

If I look at these three thoughts and run through all of my experiences, I can see how the Universe has given me exactly what I believe. I have constantly been in relationships and situations where I felt like nothing I did was good enough. Things that seem so easy for everyone else has always felt more difficult for me. Over the past few years, I didn’t have enough money, time or opportunity to do what I want. But, now, I’ve made the switch. Whenever I hear those thoughts invading my mind, I challenge them. I ask myself, why?

Why am I not good enough? I am. Why does everything have to be difficult for me? It doesn’t. Why will I never have enough ___ to do what I want? I will. There is nothing to support these negative thoughts. If the Universe is in the business of making me happy, then none of these thoughts are valid.

It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. Life is not about avoiding conflict or it all being perfect. It’s about knowing that the imperfect moments are loving lessons designed to keep you advancing on your path. Things falling apart are like an iceberg exploding in the path of your ship so you can keep your direction.

“Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.” -Bikram Choudhury