What makes love difficult is that it requires you to stay vulnerable. It asks of you to let down your defenses and give someone else the opportunity to hurt you. If you want to keep love, you have to constantly forgive someone else for not being everything you need. True love is a constant act of forgiveness. It’s a consistent act of showing up for someone else despite your own fears, challenges and needs.
It’s not easy. We learn to protect ourselves and we carry our feelings as if they are secrets known only to us. The process of loving is exposing our love to someone who may not understand our feelings and may reject us. Men and women are already two very different creatures that think in different ways. But, we also have our own cultures, upbringings and belief systems which adds another layer of challenge. Throw in societal prejudices and financial fears and it is even more difficult to find common ground. Also, the Universe in its infinite wisdom, will attract into your life someone with wounds that match your own to give you both the opportunity to heal. Your partner is a mirror of you and, sometimes, a reflection of your fears and wounds.
Love is a powerful and confusing process, but, even with all that I have described, people find it and hold on to it every single day. Why is that? It is because it is essential to life. As human beings, we thrive on love. We crave it. We conquer it. We need it. And we will hold on to it even when it is unhealthy rather than to go without it. The goal with love is to make it healthy. The way to make it healthy requires vulnerability. It’s learning how to say sorry. It’s learning how to be wrong. It’s learning how to express your feelings. It’s learning how to give from your heart with no expectation. It’s learning how to forgive imperfections in others.
Love is learning. Your partner is your teacher and your student. The moment you give up on teaching and learning, you have given up on love. Love is where you go to serve and grow.
“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”- Anthony Robbins
What can you learn from someone you love? Can you share your feelings with someone you care about? Are you ready to serve? Share in comments.