It’s been a week or so since I’ve posted. I decided that it made sense to upgrade my blog, but I didn’t take into account how much work it would take and what I would lose. In the end, it cost me lots of time, frustration and, possibly, some readers. I might look at it as a misstep or a mistake, but I prefer to think of it as a miscalculation on my part.
“When you know better, you do better”- Maya Angelou
Mistakes are apart of life. We all learned through trial and error. You had to pull yourself up off the ground and take your first step with no prior knowledge of if you would be able to. Maybe, you even fell, but you tried again until you got the hang of it. Life is a series of steps. We are all going on the limited information we have when we make our decisions. It’s easy to beat yourself up for not knowing what you don’t know. In this case, there were a few times where I was so frustrated that I literally turned off my computer and walked away. My expectations of what was supposed to happen weren’t met. This left me feeling helpless and angry. Eventually, I calmed myself down. I opened the computer back up and I surfed the internet and visited less important websites. I gave myself a moment to think of something else until my mind found an answer. Slowly, as I relaxed, I figured out more and more things and worked through the kinks. I was patient with myself.
The funny thing is that while all this was going on, I was sorting through some other emotions. The upgrading of the blog was like a mirror of some other changes I was going through. As I worked diligently to fix the site, I sorted through my feelings about the rest of the upheaval. The conclusion I came to when I was done is that I can only fix what I can fix. Some things are out of my hands and not to my liking, but I have to allow them to happen. What feels like a mistake may be a blessing. You don’t always know in the moment. Sometime in the future, I may look back and connect the dots and say, “Oh, I get it now.” I can’t see the future, so I must have faith that everything that is happening is for my benefit.
“Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.”- Oscar Wilde
I’m working on being grateful for everything that happens in my life. A great way to that is to believe that everything, even the mistakes, will somehow make me better. In this instance, I learned patience. I’m used to having it now and being the one to do it. In this situation, I didn’t have all the answers and I didn’t always get the answers I wanted. But, there was a calm inside me that prevailed through the process. Something inside me told me that everything would be okay and I surrendered to it. I’m surrendering to a lot more these days and I am seeing that I have a lot to be grateful for. Sometimes, to prevent you from a disaster, you have to be distracted. Life will distract you with something benign to keep you from something devastating. If you can trust it and believe that it is always working in your favor, you will see all occurrences as small miracles. Life is knitting your destiny together in moments.
Can you let go? Can you see mistakes or disappointments as lessons for your growth? Do you believe that setbacks are setups for something better?