Sometimes, I can get caught up in some of the reality shows that are on television. It’s often because I hear other people talking about them. As I am watching the fighting, arguing and violence, I realize that I am watching people who are hurting. The one thing that I don’t like about some of  the reality shows is that they simply document the behavior and exploit it. They don’t offer the people help or growth of any kind. They almost encourage them to regress through infamy and monetary incentives.

In the past, I used to watch those shows and the salacious talk shows and think, well, at least my life is not like that. I judged the people harshly against my code of conduct and morals. Now, I realize that the judgement is from my insecurity. I needed to make myself feel better about what I was or wasn’t doing by comparing myself to someone else. I would also judge up as well. If I was worried about money and someone else had what I wanted, I felt relieved if they didn’t live up to all my ideals of what someone with money should be. It was all judgement. It was all born of my insecurity about my life.

What I’ve realized is that I don’t need to judge and I don’t have to feel judged by anyone else. My journey is my own and it was designed specifically for me. In school, we are grouped into classes based on our age and there is a misconception that we should all learn the same way and be at the same level. In life (and in school), that is not true. People learn at different levels and in different ways. It’s impossible to teach everyone with one lesson. We all have different lessons and different tests that are set to our own cognitive and emotional level. Therefore, I can not judge you and you cannot judge me.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”- Carl Gustav Jung

There is a saying that I have developed and adopted that I think is less judgmental of where other people are in their lives. When I look at something and I think about if it would fit into my journey or my path, I tell myself that “I don’t choose that for me.” What that means is that it might be a good test for someone else and they might need it, but it’s not a test that I am interested in choosing for my path. I don’t feel the need to explain it further. If you want to do it, then it is your choice but I don’t choose that for me. So far, it’s working well. Feel free to use it in your life as well. Remember, life is a series of choices. The quality of life is based on your choices, so if you want to change your life all you have to do is make different choices.